“The day will come when we will wish we had done more of good and less of good”
I was chatting with a dear sister some days ago and the conversation inspired this.
She was preparing for an exam that I had taken in the past so I knew exactly the way she was feeling but funny enough as much as I knew the emotions she was feeling I realized that my perspective towards it was totally different from when I was in her place back then.
Sure someone might say that it’s because I am done with it. Well maybe you are right. But reading this to the end would do you no harm to find out.
Back then, no matter how long I had been preparing, when the exams drew close, I never felt prepared to write.
And I always prepared hard and thoroughly for it because it was like the hardest thing I seemed to know then.
I would sacrifice almost everything then to prepare because I had nothing but the exams to keep me somewhat busy.
I would eat little, rest little so that I could prepare.
I was never one who socialized much and this exam helped me become more reserved. It was an exam that spanned over a couple of years to write.
It was a never ending cycle. The moment you completed one level, you are already set to start preparing for the next level.
If there was any event the family had to attend, I always had the perfect excuse not to be there. Though there were times I would be made to attend the event at all cost.
Anyone would wonder that for me to put in so much effort in preparing, I never had to worry about feeling fully prepared.
Sorry to disappoint you but I never felt fully prepared for it.
My family usually felt the sting of all these unease more because I would become irritable at the approach of this exam.
I would call my sister and cry about being scared of failing and she would encourage me with some words.
Worse was when the exam was over and the wait for the result began. Nobody would want to come near me.
Yes it was that bad. I would just become withdrawn for days and this would continue until the results were released and I happened to pass.
Well, I started and completed all the levels alhamdulilaah
I never really got to see things differently until recently when I had this conversation.
The dear sis was scared at the approach of the exam. She felt she had not done enough, that she had not put in her best.
In the midst of trying to put her mind at ease, I realized that the feeling of not being or doing enough transcends that particular exam.
Whatever we set out to do, the following usually crops up in our mind making us depressed and discouraging us from seeing something good coming from such. It includes but not limited to the points listed below:
- I do not feel I have done enough……………………
- I did not put in my best………………………………………..
- Everyone except me is more prepared or has done more
With all these, we set ourselves up for failure before we are tested.
Something that was made clearer to me was:
- The fact being that we think it’s all about us that’s why we feel this way.
- We forget that we are limited beings and can never get it perfect no matter how hard we try
- We forget that ultimately, it’s his mercy over us and not how hard we have prepared that sees us through
- We do not remember to use this avenue as a means to reconnect with him having realized how infallible we are
- Lastly, we do not see the gift he has bestowed upon us.
How? You might ask. If our Rabb has made you of those who realizes how limited, helpless, infallible you are with this, then you are of those who he does not want become arrogant due to what they feel or think they possess.
Looking back in history, the story of some should make this clearer:
- Firaun and he was destroyed because of his arrogance
- Karun was also destroyed due to his arrogance
This two people felt they had it all and nothing could go wrong and in the end they were destroyed.
See why I say you have been bestowed a grace from your Lord?
I leave you with this parting quote or saying
“The moment you feel you have attained perfection is the moment you begin to lose it all”
Please share and drop your comments below.
Cheers and Regards
Ps: Sure some might wonder what exam I was referring. Well it’s the exams taken to become an Associate member of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria